TheEthicsOfAssault
From IMiA
As they reach the carriage, Jamie, who has so far been perfectly passive, stops and turns back to look at the ship. The cornflower blue eyes lift to the height of the crows nest, and then down to the deck below.
"It should have been me," he says quietly, and he leans back against the carriage for support. "It was my fault."
"Yes," Juliana says dryly. "Into the carriage."
Juliana, for her part, takes the driver's hand up and resumes her former seat. Once everyone is in, she'll pull the curtains shut once again.
"Well," she says to her newspaper boy still dressed up like a girl, "you may want to go by James for awhile, Jamie, and when Lange starts following you, you best let him keep up."
Jamie looks at Phoebe. "What did you do?" he asks with wide eyes and a big grin.
"I did something stupid," says Phoebe. "It doesn't matter what. Only it was stupid - and then a man was hurt - badly hurt. And it was my fault."
Her voice is flat and level, oddly devoid of emotion. Perhaps it is shock - and shock that occasions the curious blankness in her eyes. Then she turns to Julianna and says with Begman formality, "You must tell me what sum you were compelled to disimburse on my behalf, your Grace. My Father taught me that one must always repay debts of honour, and I hold this as such."
Since before the departure from the ship, Deirdre has been silent. Finally, she speaks.
"Her Grace and I will discuss this later, I am certain," she says. "This matter is my responsibility."
Juliana raises a surprised eyebrow at the princess. Then she looks back to Phoebe. The carriage lurches forward. "Best to let it go, Miss Frewin. Her highness just stated that like it was a fact."
Phoebe nods without speaking, but her little jaw has set with a determination that knows who know Phoebe best (such as her Nurse) would recognise with some alarm.
Janet takes the hat off of Phoebe once the curtains are drawn and starts pulling down her hair. Jamie is happy to divest himself of the wig. He quietly gives Phoebe a comforting pat in the course of his motions, not being to obvious about it.
She manages a rather crooked grin for him - half a boy still, but half her own female self. "I'm sorry!" she breathes in his ear.
"I'm jealous," he whispers back.
The smile deepens, but she simply shakes her head as she continues her transformation back into a girl again. If Phoebe's disposition is inclined to flirtatiousness, this afternoon's events have quelled it - at least temporarily.
Juliana turns back to Deirdre. "I hope that responsibility includes keeping my boy here safe."
Phoebe turns to look pleadingly at Deirdre.
"It wouldn't be right, would it, if someone else had to suffer for my mistake?" she says.
"It was an accident, dear girl. They happen. Even in Amber." Deirdre says with a reassuring smile.
Phobe smiles, back, a little reassured, and comforted too.
"I do not believe there will be cause for anyone to wish young Jamie harm. The Captain's man will receive the best care from my own physicians. And should anyone be such a fool as to seek harm against anyone in this coach over this matter, I would be displeased. And as I am responsible for you, I would hold Hobart personally responsible for his crew. Alas, though I have many virtues, forgiveness is not among them."
"Thank you," says Phoebe, the gratitude in her voice balanced by a note of uncertainty that suggests she is wonderiong whether she might put herself in an unforgiveable position. But she manages another smile.
Juliana shoots Janet a meaningful look, and then relaxes back against the seat some while the youngsters return their persons to the correct gender. Juliana, after some time, has appeared to lose herself in thought.
Phoebe is soon finished, her dress restored to a state of no greater disarray than might be expected of a young lady who spent an afternoon of great enjoyment at the circus. Her hair is perhaps a little more windswept, but not enough for her Mama to remark upon it (and more than Lilias Frewin will seize upon any opportunity to criticise her daughter's hoydenish ways).
The slight shadow that lingers in her eyes is perhaps not noticeable to anyone who knows her as little as her mother does.
Phoebe turns to look pleadingly at Deirdre. "It wouldn't be right, would it, if someone else had to suffer for my mistake?" she says.
"It was an accident, dear girl. They happen. Even in Amber." Deirdre says with a reassuring smile.
Phobe smiles, back, a little reassured, and comforted too.
"I do not believe there will be cause for anyone to wish young Jamie harm. The Captain's man will receive the best care from my own physicians. And should anyone be such a fool as to seek harm against anyone in this coach over this matter, I would be displeased. And as I am responsible for you, I would hold Hobart personally responsible for his crew. Alas, though I have many virtues, forgiveness is not among them."
"Thank you," says Phoebe, the gratitude in her voice balanced by a note of uncertainty that suggests she is wonderiong whether she might put herself in an unforgiveable position. But she manages another smile.
Juliana shoots Janet a meaningful look, and then relaxes back against the seat some while the youngsters return their persons to the correct gender. Juliana, after some time, has appeared to lose herself in thought.
Phoebe is soon finished, her dress restored to a state of no greater disarray than might be expected of a young lady who spent an afternoon of great enjoyment at the circus. Her hair is perhaps a little more windswept, but not enough for her Mama to remark upon it (and more than Lilias Frewin will seize upon any opportunity to criticise her daughter's hoydenish ways).
The slight shadow that lingers in her eyes is perhaps not noticeable to anyone who knows her as little as her mother does.
When Jamie departs, Deirdre takes his hand.
"Continue to serve your mistress well," she says indicating Juliana. "And know, lad, you are under my protection. It is not easily given and is a rare thing to fall upon one so young."
"I appreciate it, my, uh, your highness. I have all intent of bein' around for trouble of my own on another day," Jamie grins. It's a rouge's grin on too boyish a face. "Milady," he tips his cap to Juliana.
"And stop by and tell Norton what the princess said." When he's gone Juliana sighs. "He is a gem. He will indeed be trouble someday, for some woman."
Phoebe wears the look of a thoughtful kitten.
Deirdre nods knowingly.
When it comes time for Phoebe to depart, Deirdre smiles at her.
"Do not let the accident weigh heavily upon you," the princess says. 'It would sadden me to see the joy gone from your eyes"
Phoebe smiles back, still a little shy in the presence of the august Princess of Amber.
"I will do my best to obey your command," she says, but the smile and the returning sparkle in her eye suggest she does not take it as a weighty injunction, but as encouragement. "Although it will certainly remind me not to be so careless in strange and precarious situations!" For a second she looks a little uneasy. "At least, I hope it will!"
Then she holds out her hand to Julianna. "Thank you =so= much for arranging such a =splendid treat!" she says warmly. "And I am =so= sorry that I caused such trouble. I hope you will forgive me!"
Juliana shakes the girl's hand. "I would have been sad if it was boring, and it wasn't that. And it was certainly educational to watch Hobart respond to a crisis."
So might a puppy regard its owner over the remains of a somewhat mangled slipper.
And at Julianna's words a metaphoical tail wags a little hopefully.
"Indeed," Deirdre agrees.
And Juliana tends to look right through her, just like she might a dumb animal. But then her eyes focus back on Phoebe. "Have you decided you're sacrificing yourself for the good of your house, or have you decided it is cold and wrong of your mother to expect that from you and you should have the future of your choice?" Juliana asks intensely. That she's gone off on a tangent, and an uncomfortable one at that doesn't seem to phase her. Janet leans back in her seat and smiles appreciatively.
Phoebe's eyes meet hers, calm and clear.
"I think," she says, "Mama believes that she is doing the best thing possible for me, as well as for our house - and my brother, who is now its head. Whether it is =truly= the best thing for me, I do not know - and I won't know until I know what she requires of me. And at that time, I shall have to decide for myself if it is best or no."
She is silent for a moment, and then her face lights up with her warm smile. "But you have given me the freedom to think, your Grace, and for that (I am most =sincerely= grateful. Here is Amber I am seeing other possibilities that would not ... not be available in Begma.
"Although," she adds, with an air of candour, "I am sure that not all possibilities would actually be available to me even if I discovered them to be my heart's desire. I really don't think that Prince Eric, for example, would welcome me as an officer in his Weirmonken guard, nor would Captain Hobart be overly-anxious to offer me passage as cabin boy on any ship he might have an interest in. I believe my destiny may well be a more conventional one than that. But I do believe it will be one that I choose for myself."
She glances under demure lashes at the Princess. "Provided it meets with royal approval of course," she finishes very properly. But a dimple is quivering at the side of her lips.
Deirdre smiles warmly. "I shall enjoy helping you choose your destiny, dear girl. I shall, in fact, eagerly await our next meeting."
"And I too," says Phoebe with something more in her voice that the usual social politeness one might expect in such a response.
"Well, then, have fun with your mother. You could always tell her the truth, as it's rather unbelievable. Take care darling," Juliana smiles. Janet waves.
Phoebe smiles back. "I think not," she says, with the faintest touch of regret. "If I were to do so, she'd whisk me back to Begma immediately, fortune or no fortune."
Then she is gone, out of the carriage, and proceeding with dignity up the little path that leads to the rented house where the Frewins are residing while in Amber.
-- Main.LizTrumitch - 22 Sep 2005
